1. Yes! I exclaimed as I pumped my fist in the air! I just called Jasmine, the girl I really like, and I asked her to go on a date with me. And she said yes!
2. Wow, that has to be the hardest thing I've ever done. I just got off the phone with Jasmine, the girl I really like. I gathered the courage to ask her to go on a date with me, and she readily agreed.
3. "Yes. I'd love to go out with you tonight." What a feeling of relief. Those words lifted a burden off my shoulders, that's for sure. That was Jasmine, the girl I have a crush on, and she just said yes when I asked her to go out on a date with me tonight.
4. A bead of sweat trickled down my face, the phone felt cold, metallic against my ear, then the words "Yes, I'd love to" seemed to force a huge sigh and breath of relief out of my lungs. I have a date with Jasmine, the girl I have a crush on, and although I felt relaxed shortly after I asked her, I'm tense again now.
5. Staring up at my blue ceiling, looking at my MJ posters for what felt like hours when it had only been a second or two, waiting for an answer. "Yes, I would love to." Time stood still as I told her when and where, and said goodbye. What a relief, I asked out the girl I like, Jasmine, to a date tonight, and she said yes!
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2 comments:
I really liked the fourth one, but it seem a little "run-on" in the first sentence. I also liked the second openeing because it said what needed to be said without too many words.
I like number 4 the most. It is very descriptive and makes the reader want to read on. 4 is the best choice in my opinion.
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