The Life of Tom

Hey, my name is Tom. Welcome to my blog. I'll just tell you a little about myself then. I'm a big sports fan, of football and basketball specifically. My favorite teams are the Atlanta Falcons (yes, even though Vick is going to jail) and the Chicago Bulls. In college I like the UNC Tar Heels in both sports but also support the Gophers. I am a democrat (that's an understatement right there) and I can do a good George Bush impression, at least in the opinions of me and my friends.

My personaly writing interest is largely in short stories. I am very creative and witty so those talents come to life best in short stories when I can choose my own topics to write about and really take them anywhere I please. I can write poetry but it is not my favorite avenue of writing. If I do write it though, I like to rhyme every line of it. But I definately want to spend time writing creative essays or stories. I would like to also work on my college essays in class, but those will likely be funny/creative works also, because that's just my personality, and I want to reflect that in my essay.

One writer I enjoy reading is Dan Brown. I have read all of his books, from Angels and Demons to Deception Point. I like all of them. They are all similar in the plot, however that doesn't mean the twists and turns aren't very surprising, because though you might have an idea of what might happen after you read enough of it, you never know who will do something or when it will happen. His novels are very exciting and they make you want to think about what's going on and they provoke you to try to solve the mystery or put the puzzle together, and I LOVE those kinds of novels.

For my piece of writing I will use one that I and a few friends of mine wrote together last year in AP American Literature. The point of the assignment was to analyze the poem Little Miss Muffet from anyone's point of view that you wanted. So, my friends and I all chose George W. Bush, and wrote this up together. Then, we had to read it in front of the class, and I read it in my impression of him and my friends were laughing histerically, and my teacher was laughing hard as well. Anyways, here it is:

Little Miss Muffet

By George Dubya Bush

People of America, I come to you in a time of peril and agony. These little creepy crawlies the US Intelligence has dubbed “Spy-Ders” have just been brought to my attention. Before I go any further, we must pause and analyze this situation. There have been attacks on the Tuffets of America and Tuffets from far abroad for much too long and we, as a country, shall avenge the citizens by declaring a “War on Tuffets”. The CIA has informed me that “Spy-Ders” have been present in the US since Clinton took office. However, having kept a few of his staff members to help improve my staffinization, they have informed me that he did not prioritize these Spy-Ders much at all. But have no fear America- G-Dub is on the job. Now, how many Tuffets must we watch be taken over by these Spy-Ders before we act?! These Spy-Ders even have weapons of mass destruction, but we have an answer for that. We have insect repellent, or nucyalur weapons, code named Bug Spray, OFF and if those Spy-Ders really wanna get into a shoot out, we’ll bring out the Raid- Now 30% more killing power in each canister. If that doesn’t have you quakin’ in whatever kind of shoes ya’ll wear, then I don’t know what will. I am also proposing a 50 soldier surge, code named frogs. These 50 frogs will be equipped with the most up to date gear we can find from World War II. In addition, these frogs will hop into Iraqistan and Koslokisach, two countries that my intelligationers have indicated to be housing numerous spy-der populations. Because of the magnitude of this mission, we will code name it: Operation Tuffet-Freedom. That sends the message to those spy-ders that says: We’re watching you, and were reading your emails too. This plan will free the Tuffets and end the reign of spy-ders and evil-doers once and for all. Anyone who disagrees with this is not a patriot, and hardly even an American. If you do disagree with this, make sure to tell the politicians representing you so I can make sure your phone lines are tapped and your houses and apartments are bugged. Or, apartamentos- for those of you who speak espanolish. But with a plan as fool proof as this, how could you disagree? But if you are one of those stubborn donkeys, let me pose you just one question- you anti patriot, pro spy-der, evil-doer… Why do you hate Freedom?

God Bless America.

Thanks,

Tom